sorry. [rant]

i have a brain and i'm not going to stoop down to your level.


how come girls are not allowed to think for themselves?
is it really such a bad thing?
seriously, think about it.
sorry i'm straightforward and i have my own thought processes.
and, just because i'm nice to you, or you seem halfway interesting
does not mean that i have any intentions with you.
i'm a flirt, i've come to realize that, and i'm okay with it too.
it's my personality. it does not make me a slut
and it especially does not mean that i want to be your girl.
i'm really starting to get frustrated.
grow up.

i felt you in my legs before i ever met you

i'm starting to realize things will be okay.

i do find it depressing that people find me intimidating.

and i'm too much of a flirt.

i'm sorry, i have a personality and i speak my mind.

i'm sorry, i'm not strung out.

i'm sorry, i wont sleep with you in the matter of a week.

i'm sorry, i have class.

less than one month left.

i'll be done.

i'll move on.

i'll be happy.

I'm gonna race with the devil and maybe i'll win.

i hate how you think you might know someone,

and they turn out to be totally different.

i'm sick of lies.

and i'm glad i don't do drugs.

lets get out of here.

i feel like dancin.

i wanna shout, and jump for joy.

yeah, that would be the life.

4.20.09

spring break was okay.

this summer will be amazing.

i'm stoked. g'night.

movies that show the stories of our lives.

because maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me

and after all your my wonder wall.

it felt like a scene from a movie.

with the screen shots 

and all the things i noticed 

within that 4 minutes of listening

it was highly refreshing

charlie i love you. i wish i knew you.

"So, this is my life.  And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be"

i need something like a really good book

i want something that will give me a different perspective.

something that will change who i am.

and who i want to be.

i think i deserve that much.

SAT. ew.

i got my SAT scores.

490 on critical reading

470 on math.

i did really good on the essay

i knew that wouldn't be bad. :/

hopefully i'll get in.

4.6.09

i'm happy. my weekend was great.

i had an amazing time with my oldest friends.

and even made a few new ones.

my family partied and they make me happy.

i can't stop smiling, and i don't have any worries.

'last week i had the strangest dream

where everything was exactly how it seemed'

4.3.09

Today is a good day. I'm realizing who my real friends are.  

Just know you mean the world to me.

I have happiness.

4.2.09

excited, nervous, happy, alone, together, aggravated, troubled, loved, hated, refreshed

i'm scared and starting over, no regrets, less mistakes.

i sit here in yearbook not knowing what to expect out of my life.  i'm moving away to college and yeah i've got lauren by my side, but i want something more than that.   i want someone to care about me, to understand my flaws.  i want someone that does not lie.

'are you dead or are you sleepin'