scream.

its okay.
no one will even notice.

i need you to pretend that we are in love again.

you just don't get it do you?

i have really low self-image.
i hate absolutely hate the way i look about myself.
i need to get over it, but its hard.
because i know i'm not doing anything about it.
some motivation to do things would be nice.
maybe i'll write it down so someone out there will understand.


i will always always always disagree with compliments.
why? thats absurd i know.
but, i haven't always been as cute as people say that i am now.
and when you go from looking like a boy, to being hideous and fat.
yes, i was fat, and i still think that i'm too big.
compliments wont solve it, and i don't believe them.
its all because of a not to distant past.
when you're told you're ugly, and when you're teased for so long
about little things even its really hard not to forget.

and until i have my own person, yes, i will feel like a third wheel.
its happened for so long, i should be used to it.
but i'm not. don't think i'll ever be.
i mean, i've had little 'flings' but, those don't count.
i try really hard not to let it get to me.
so if i seem down, i probably am.
and i tend to go into situations with a negative attitude
but when you go off with two couples hello.
think about it.
it might be different if it were every now and again
but it's too often for me to just blow it off.

sorry.

not what i thought.

oh dear. what have i gotten myself into now.

what?

yeah. uh huh. okay. sure. mhm.
haha. right. uh. shit.






i hate that feeling.