i need a home.

i have a job and a car and i'll buy my own food.
anyone want a roomie for a few weeks?

to you:

you're not tough.
you don't intimidate me.
i don't have time to talk about you,
and i care oh so much about what you think.
and if i'm sooo ugly, why do your boys want me.
not you.
just because you've got a few years on me
doesn't mean you're more mature.
i have a life, if i cared about yours, i would talk shit.
but, i don't.
completely one hundred percent apathetic.
thank you.

p.s. stop getting pregnant.
you're the reason my parents wont let me out.

thump.

its still beating.
faster, harder, stronger.
fluttering, non stop.
the pace gets quicker.
don't forget to breathe.
___________________________

as much as i do miss the people that used to be in my life.
i'm extremely happy for those that are in it currently.
its a feeling i have never quite experienced.
i'm happy for everything that i have received.
i'm happy to give it out.
despite my better judgment,
i think i'm really doing everything right this time.

i'll be walking across a stage in 5 days.
in an ugly maroon robe.
with a stupid looking cap.
and i'm ecstatic.

a few weeks from now we'll be working on our apartment.
we will make it what we want.
we'll tear down walls, rip up carpet,
and add a fresh coat of paint.
it will be what we make it in its entirety.
don't worry, it will be chaotic.
and it could spring up an argument or two.
but all of our hard work will pay off.

it was only a kiss

last week was amazing.

there are no other words to describe how i felt.

pure ecstasy, no need for drugs.

i'm currently high on life.

idk.

so much left to do.

so little time.

i'm still scared.

is this really happening.

i feel so alone.

so dead inside.

i hate waking up.

i look foreword to going to sleep.

its the only state that brings happiness.

i need a change of scenery.

i need a change of pace.

i need new faces.